A Ray of Hope

Something I saw in town that made me smile.

I feel hopeless and stranger then usual.

I have always known I have a different out look but in such a small town

 I am afraid if anyone see a true version of me I would be rejected completely.

The feminist in me is also a bit tormented by the strong patriarchal groups in this community.

But I will just forever be "Alexis (insert head shake to portray a lack of understanding why is she so weird)."

Hail No! Well Ok!

Being a good little half Catholic, I find it is sacrilege to wear a rosary as a fashion statement. 

Unless your a nun I  despise it! 

I think my strong feelings are aligned with my strong feeling for the Holy Virgin Mary.

Though I have found an acception!

http://www.jewishrosaries.com/

It is an exciting religious fusion that I adore. 

I have always loved learning about other cultures and believes. 

 This combined with my love of fashion/accessories make it on my to buy list.

Signs

I keep my religious beliefs close to my chest.   

I grew up Catholic from my father and Methodist from my mother.  

I do have a strong belief in God but not so much in a lot of churches.

The beauty of community and unity are wonderful but they tend to be buried in internal politics.

I have been praying for a sign for many months for guidance.  

I have a few tentative plans for what to do next but nothing set in stone.

Tonight I learned that my cousin committed suicide tonight.  

This tragic has made me wonder if this is some twisted sign or brisk wake up call to the fact that I should return to mental health?  

I must say I hope not.  

It burned me out complete and consumed my life.

Am I selfish?

Update

As many of my friends know I have relocated to Western Kansas...
For a job opp.
It is for a plastic company
and
I really hoped that this would be my chance to get that design experience future employers are want to see.
It isn't as posh as I had dreamed but I have often suffered from delusions of grandeur.

It has also been a great opportunity to be nears some family I haven't been so close to in long time.
There are also some wonderful sunset.
Adapting to this rural community has been trying and I feel like I have to hold a lot back to stay P.C. here but that's the story of my life.
You know not the be "so weird."
More to come!

A Fresh Year and All I Have Heard

I have gotten crazy behind on "All I have heard" so to go along with a fresh year I am going to have a fresh start on one my few running posts.

So I am going to start the year off with a few favorite series I have been listening to lately:

Janet Evanovich's Wicked Series

     

I have really enjoyed these two books they are fun, playful and I can always get into anything involving Diesel! 

I also enjoy the goofy supernatural antics.

Debbie Macomber's Ceder Cove Series

Debbie Macomber is another romance writer machine but I can't get enough of her. 

I have read and listened to a few of her stand alone novels but the Ceder Cove series has really grabbed me.

I love fellowing the multiple residences of the Ceder Cove and just slipping into their lives.

Alexander McCall Smith's No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency

 I love this series it features two interesting and strong women.  

It paints a beautiful pictures of their beloved Africa and enjoyable mysteries as well.

Jan Karon's Father Tim/ Mitford Series

My Mother introduced me to Father Tim on our road trip to Baltimore.  

This series was truly beautiful.  

This peak into the wonderful life of Father Tim's life is refreshing and heart warming.

  I have to admit I am glad that I have more to look forward to in the last three books of the series left.

Charlaine Harris 

Sookie Stackhouse Series 

I am addicted to this series and am sad that I am three books from the end.  

 I started these books to hold me over after the season finale of the TV series and the suggestion of my local librarian but have fallen in love with it even more!

*Team Eric!* 

 A Lily Bard Mystery Series 

I am still on the fence about this series I love it but Lily's extremely 

"I'm a victim, back off world or I will kick your ass" attitude was a turn off in the first two books.

The third book has began to redeem this as

 I see Lily begin to shed this hard protective outer shell  and I will keep listening on.

Jennifer Chiaverini's Elm Creek Quilters Series

I can always count on these books to get me in the quilting mood!

Another reason

 I think I love this series is the dream of having these women as my friends and mentor quilting wise. 

 I have found some friends who also enjoy quilting but not as strong of a connected as the

 Elm Creek Quilters.

Last One Promise!

Iris Johansen Eve Duncan Series

I have only read one of the books but I'm hooked!  

This was a random pickup at my local library.

I really am excited to start at the beginning of Eve's story (since I started with book 11).

Well more to come I hope to start doing these mini segments with more details at the start of each month.

Stay tuned!

  

A New Year

This past year has brought a lot of changes:

I left mental health and took up a position at a factory doing a lot of production and a little design work.  

This also brought a 396 mile move that not only tested my nerves but my relationship. 

Luckily mt beloved came with me!

I am not the world renowned designer I dreamed I would be (yet) but I have some glimmering of hope so we shall see where my life will take me. 

The upside of my move is I am in the same town as a lot of my family

 (grandparents, brother, aunt, uncles and tons of cousins).  

I have watched there goings  from afar in the past but it has been terribly different to be apart of it all.

I have also found a group of quilters at a local church every 

Tuesday which I enjoy but I think know they think I am strange but that seems to be the general thought of this rural community. 

I see my stay here as a stepping stone but an important part of the foundation.

Quilting Needs

Urg I have been having motivational issues when it comes to setting up my sewing room at my new home.  I unpacked everything but didn't put any of it away...

Little update I guess:

I moved to a small town in western Kansas for a part time design gig at a plastic factory.  I am doing production work as well to keep up with the bills and such needs.  

It is an hour from a Walmart or theater.  

I have a lot of family in this area so that helps a lot with keep me sane!

We stayed with my grandparents for the first 5 months or so because there weren't able to find our own rental at first but finally found our own place.

 Another up side is that every Tuesday I quilt at one of the local churches.  It isn't one of my own but the church gets paid for us to hand quilt...Quilts?

I really enjoy these ladies but am worried about them finding out that I am a little weirder than they already know.

For Instance:

 I found this amazing artist Nina Paley recently who made this great piece about and would like to do something similar. 

Maybe using one these past pieces below. 

       

Any who we shall see if I get ran out of town on rail?

I am still very frustrated that I have still not found my audience YET!

 It this like a holy grail search to find people who enjoy and understand my work?

I think where this rant is going is I need to clean my sewing room so I express my creativity with through fabric before my head explodes...